Grief Counseling

There's no right way to grieve, and you don't have to do it alone

Losing someone changes everything. Some days you might feel okay, and other days the grief hits out of nowhere. You might feel sad, angry, guilty, numb or all of these at once.

Grief isn't a problem to fix. It's a reflection of how much someone mattered. Therapy gives you a steady place to grieve, remember and figure out how to keep going.

Understanding grief

Grief is our natural response to loss. It can follow the death of a parent, partner, child, sibling or friend. It can also come after other losses, like a divorce, a diagnosis, a miscarriage or a relationship ending.

Grief doesn't move in neat stages. It comes in waves, and it can show up in your body as exhaustion, trouble sleeping or changes in appetite. Holidays, anniversaries and everyday reminders can bring it back strongly, even years later.

For some people, grief stays so intense that it's hard to function months or even a year after the loss. That's sometimes called prolonged grief, and it's something therapy can help with. Grief can also be heavier after a sudden, violent or traumatic loss, or a death by suicide.

Grief often shows up alongside depression, anxiety or trauma. Your therapist looks at the whole picture, not just one label.

What grief can look like

Everyone grieves differently, and children grieve differently than adults. These are some of the things we help with most often:

• Waves of sadnessGrief that comes and goes, sometimes hitting hardest when you least expect it.
• Feeling stuckMonths or years later, still finding it hard to get through the day.
• Guilt and what-ifsReplaying the last conversation, or wondering what you could have done differently.
• AngerFeeling angry at the situation, at others, at yourself or at the person who died.
• Hard daysHolidays, birthdays and anniversaries that bring the loss rushing back.
• Feeling alone in itFeeling like the people around you have moved on while you're still hurting.

In kids and teens, grief often looks like anger, acting out, clinginess, trouble at school, or seeming fine one minute and very upset the next.

You're not the only one who feels this way

When people reach out to us about grief, a few things come up again and again. Many tell us they:

• Lost someone a while ago and still feel stuck, and worry they're grieving "wrong."
• Are grieving while also caring for family, working or dealing with other big changes.
• Are parents looking for help for a child or teen who is grieving.
• Find holidays and anniversaries especially hard.

If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place. There's no deadline on grief, and asking for support isn't a sign you're not coping.

What we'll work on together

Grief counseling is a place to be honest about how you're really doing. Your therapist starts by getting to know you and the person or loss you're grieving. Together you set goals that feel right for you. Your work together can include:

• Making space for your grief. Talking about the person you lost, your memories and the feelings that are hard to share elsewhere.
• Understanding your grief. Learning what's normal, so you don't feel like you're doing it wrong.
• Working through guilt and regret. Gently looking at the what-ifs and finding a way to carry them more lightly.
• Getting through hard days. Planning for holidays, anniversaries and triggers so they feel less overwhelming.
• Finding a way forward. Rebuilding routines and staying connected to the person you lost while you keep living.

For children and teens, we use age-appropriate approaches, including play for younger kids, and we can bring the family into sessions so everyone has support.

How therapy can help

Grief doesn't go away, but it can change. With support, many people find that over time they:

• Feel the waves of grief become a little less overwhelming
• Carry less guilt and more compassion for themselves
• Find ways to honor and remember the person they lost
• Get back to routines and relationships
• Feel more hopeful about what's ahead

Progress isn't always a straight line. Your therapist will check in with you regularly about what's working and adjust the plan as you go.

For parents: when your child is grieving

Kids don't always show grief the way adults expect. Your child might seem fine, then have a meltdown over something small. Your teen might go quiet, get angry or throw themselves into staying busy. And you may be grieving too.

We work with children, teens and families, and we can include you in sessions so you know how to support your child at home. If your child has Illinois Medicaid and needs more support, our Pathways to Success team can also come to your home.

Types of loss we help with

• Loss of a parent, partner or spouse
• Loss of a child or pregnancy
• Sudden, violent or traumatic loss
• Loss to suicide or overdose
• Anticipatory grief: when someone you love, or you, is seriously ill
• Grief after divorce, a breakup or other big life changes
• Grief in children and teens

Getting started

1. Reach outClick Start Today or call (630) 635-0577. Our team gets to know what you're looking for, checks your insurance (we accept Illinois Medicaid and most private insurance) and matches you with a therapist who fits. Have a preference, like a female therapist? Just let us know.
2. Your first sessionMeet in person in Wheaton or Chicago, or by telehealth from anywhere in Illinois, with extended hours from 8 AM to 8 PM, seven days a week. Your therapist gets to know you and what you'd like to change. There's no pressure to share everything at once.
3. A plan that fits your lifeTogether you set goals that matter to you and check in regularly on what's working.

Sources: American Psychiatric Association, Prolonged Grief Disorder