Domestic Violence Counseling

What happened is not your fault, and you deserve to feel safe

If someone who's supposed to care about you is hurting, scaring or controlling you, or did in the past, it can leave you feeling confused, ashamed and exhausted. You may still care about them, and that's okay too.

Our therapists offer confidential support for survivors and their children, at your pace. You decide what to share, and what you want to work on.

Understanding domestic violence

Domestic violence isn't only physical. It can include emotional abuse, threats, controlling money or who you see, monitoring your phone, constant criticism, sexual abuse and making you feel like you're the problem.

Abuse often happens in a cycle: tension builds, something happens, then there are apologies or calm, and the cycle starts again. That cycle can make it very hard to leave, and very hard to trust your own feelings.

You're not alone. The CDC reports that about 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced physical violence, sexual violence or stalking by an intimate partner that affected their lives.

Abuse can lead to trauma, anxiety and depression, for adults and for children who see or hear it. Your therapist looks at the whole picture, not just one label.

What it can look like

Everyone's experience is different. These are some of the things survivors tell us they're dealing with:

• Walking on eggshellsWatching every word and move to avoid setting someone off.
• Being controlledSomeone controlling your money, phone, friends, family or where you go.
• Self-doubt and shameWondering if it's your fault, or if you're overreacting.
• Feeling unsafeBeing on guard, startled easily or afraid even after leaving.
• Feeling isolatedLosing touch with people who used to support you.
• Starting overRebuilding your confidence, boundaries and sense of who you are.

For children, living with violence at home can show up as fear, anger, nightmares, trouble at school or acting younger than their age. Children can heal too, with the right support.

You're not the only one who feels this way

When survivors reach out to us, a few things come up again and again. Many tell us they:

• Recently left an abusive relationship and don't know where to start.
• Went through years of emotional abuse and are only now realizing what it was.
• Want to rebuild their boundaries, confidence and sense of who they are.
• Want support for their children, too.

If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place. You will be believed here, and you'll never be pushed to do anything you're not ready for.

What we'll work on together

Counseling for survivors is trauma-informed, confidential and paced to you. Your therapist starts by understanding your situation and what feels safe right now. Together you set goals that matter to you. Your work together can include:

• Safety planning. Thinking through ways to stay safer, and connecting you with advocates and resources.
• Making sense of what happened. Understanding abuse patterns, so you can trust your own feelings again.
• Healing from trauma. Calming skills and trauma-focused therapy to ease fear, flashbacks and feeling on guard.
• Rebuilding boundaries and self-worth. Learning to put your needs first without guilt, and noticing what healthy relationships feel like.
• Support for your children. Helping kids feel safe, understood and able to talk about what they've been through.

You don't have to have left, and you don't have to be sure what you want to do next, to start counseling. This is support for you, wherever you are.

How therapy can help

Everyone's healing looks different, and there's no set timeline. With support, many survivors find that over time they:

• Feel safer and less on guard
• Trust their own thoughts and feelings again
• Set boundaries with more confidence
• Feel less shame and more self-compassion
• Help their children feel calmer and more secure

Progress isn't always a straight line. Your therapist will check in with you regularly about what's working and adjust the plan as you go.

For parents: helping your children heal

Children who see or hear violence at home are affected, even if they weren't hurt themselves. You might notice your child is clingy, angry, anxious or struggling at school.

We work with children, teens and their protective parents, and we help you understand what your child needs. If your child has Illinois Medicaid and needs more support, our Pathways to Success team can also come to your home.

How we help survivors

• Individual counseling for survivors
• Emotional and psychological abuse
• Physical and sexual violence
• Rebuilding after leaving
• Children exposed to violence at home
• Trauma, anxiety and depression after abuse

Getting started

1. Reach outClick Start Today or call (630) 635-0577. Our team gets to know what you're looking for, checks your insurance (we accept Illinois Medicaid and most private insurance) and matches you with a therapist who fits. Have a preference, like a female therapist? Just let us know.
2. Your first sessionMeet in person in Wheaton or Chicago, or by telehealth from anywhere in Illinois, with extended hours from 8 AM to 8 PM, seven days a week. Your therapist gets to know you and what you'd like to change. There's no pressure to share everything at once.
3. A plan that fits your lifeTogether you set goals that matter to you and check in regularly on what's working.

Sources: CDC, About Intimate Partner Violence; National Domestic Violence Hotline